Tomorrow I will be going to my fifth Chemo treatment and this time I am ready to go. This last one I had I didn’t look forward to it and now here we are. The last two treatments were night and day difference. I had two “good” weeks with the third, this time I was just ill up until four days ago. I just wanted to throw up all the time and this stupid lump in my throat just won’t go away. Eating or drinking this time was a challenge for me. It lasted for a week and a half and I forced myself to stay nourished but I would’ve preferred to not do anything. I joke with my husband and tell him can I just remove my intestines and then put them back in later so I don’t have to feel ill? I know it’s a really bad joke it just gets me through the rough patches. With these last two treatments I have noticed my nail beds discoloring and my eyebrows and eyelashes are thinning out. I look weird but hey my husband thinks I’m sexy, so all is right in the world of Tamika! 🙂

Even though I felt like crap most of this treatment I told my husband after the first week that I would resume taking the kids to dance classes or wherever else they needed to go because I could stay home and feel like crap or I could be busy and feel like crap. I chose the second part for the last two weeks. It feels good to live. I did finally break down and took some Norco this time around for my stomach and body aches, it was the best decision I could’ve made this time around. It settled my stomach and allowed me to eat and nourish my body and after not really sleeping for over a week I finally found some rest. Let’s just say my husband was happy I finally took it and I was too!

I didn’t have a period this time around and it was great to finally have a break from it. Hopefully it won’t come back tomorrow! 🙂

I was asked again recently which treatment has been worse. Let’s just say the “best one” was the third one and leave it at that. Chemo sucks all around for me and the journey doesn’t end August 19. Chemo treatments do, but not the other meds or surgery or radiation if I choose to take that route. This affects the rest of my life and just for the record: cancer sucks, Chemo sucks, it all sucks!

Now with that said and off my chest just know that I am blessed and alive. I have my family and friends and those of you I don’t know who make this easier to get through. I have my husband and kids to live for and honestly God isn’t done with me yet. I still need to make lame jokes and crazy faces and let some of you cry on my shoulder or I can cry on your shoulder when I am able to actually cry without having my throat close up. 🙂

You have blessed me, prayed and hopefully are still praying for me because the Lord is listening! Cancer melt away and be gone! That has been the prayer this whole journey. Remember that you are not forgotten, you are loved, you are beautiful or handsome, you are smart, lovely and in my prayers to. 🙂

I love you and appreciate each and every one of you!

Tamika