So now its time to meet the surgeon. At this point we are still thinking that we are just going to cut this thing out and be done…that would have been nice. Here is a recap of what happened over the next few days.

The surgeons office calls me to schedule an appointment and asks me to fill out a new patient packet…why can’t every office just share this info?  When I get that done and take it in when the kids and I are on our way to a dance thing.  The girl that took my paperwork said do you have your insurance card, I told her, no we do not have insurance right now but it will be cash pay.  She reacted kind of worried and said, you do realize how much the visit is going to be?  She seemed sweet but in my head I thought, really? Wow. But I replied yes I know how much the visits are going to be and that our insurance didn’t kick in until May 1st.  I left and called William and relayed what she said and I cried and said it’s not like they aren’t going to get their money.  He loved on me and told me it’s ok.  I needed that reassurance.  They don’t take my insurance anyway.  A lot of doctors here don’t but I heard that this surgeon was one of the best in the area, so that’s who we are going to use.

Tuesday, April 15th   William and I go and see the Surgeon.  I still feel peace even with my weepy moments.  He talks about the info he has and said he would like me to get blood work that day and schedule an MRI, Chest X-ray and an ultrasound on my left arm because of the symptoms I was having.  He wanted to make sure the cancer cells weren’t moving.  I went and got blood work and tried to get a laugh out of the guy but he was grumpy.  Oh well.  We found out that MRI’s are expensive.  One place was charging $1,100 and another charged $600. We went with the lesser one as we had used them before.  Wonderful people at both places.  But money was a factor when you’re paying cash.

Thursday, April 17^th   I got my MRI and the nurse from our last visit noticed we were on the books and she came and talked to William and gave him some info.  She is a sweet lady. 🙂 When I was in the tube I realized that William wouldn’t be able to come into the rooms with me all the time and I felt sad briefly and then I remembered I wasn’t alone.  The Lord was there with me and comforting me.  They put some dye in your veins and it made me heart feel like it was freaking out and I remembered to just relax and be calm.

Monday, April, 21st   I had the ultrasound done, the girl was talkative and informative, I liked her.  Then I proceeded to the chest x-ray.  In the dressing room I cried a little.  Every meeting or appointment I have a mini meltdown.  But not because I think that God isn’t in control but it’s my release.

Through all of this William has been a mess.  He’s my fixer and he can’t fix me.  I love him so much and he is there for me and holds me and lets me cry.  But he understands that God has given me His strength and peace with all of this.  I keep telling William, here take some of this peace.  You will be ok, I will be ok and when this is all done we’ll be great!  I spoke to soon on the great part.

I’ve got a book to write here…this is all recap from my notes, I’ll be adding more soon.

-Tamika