About five weeks ago I found a lump in my left breast.  It would have been March 12.  I knew my period was due to start and so tenderness and firmness in the breast was normal.  I knew that the lump was not.  March 13 my period started and I hadn’t mentioned the lump to William yet.  After a few days and the tenderness not subsiding I let William know about the lump.  He wanted to go in immediately.  I said “let’s wait until my period is done and then go from there.”

Tuesday, March 18th   My period finished and now not only was the lump still there but my armpit was tender and there was some tenderness in my left arm, not just my breast any more.  It almost felt like an internal bruising and sometimes just touching the skin was uncomfortable.  Through this process I have been praying for healing and feeling peace.   There has been no worrying or fear.  We hadn’t said anything to anyone at this point.  Three weeks went by from the time I first found it and I decided it was time to call the doctor.

I also decided to call my mom to let her know what was going on. It took me breaking down in front of three women at the dance studio and crying to realize I needed to make this call.  I was just asking who they would recommend for a doctor and I guess I just needed to release some tears. Not because I was worried, but that’s how I function and process.  So all of a sudden more than just a few people knew what was going on.

Wednesday, April 2nd   We saw the PA in the doctors office we called today.  I hate going to the doctors office. You always end up waiting for what seems like forever in the waiting room. This office was no different, and the waiting room was small.  After waiting a while someone finally handed us the new patient papers that you have to fill out at every doctors office you go to. The lady behind the front desk took my papers and walked me back to take my blood pressure. She put the cuff on and put that clip-thing on my finger to take my heart rate.  She said ‘if the cuff is too tight let me know’ but then she walked away to do something else…and yes, the cuff was too tight.

After being taken to one of the rooms, the PA waked in and introduced herself. I’m always apprehensive when I meet a doctor – I felt uncomfortable, but part of me liked her right from the start.  Before my exam she said to me ‘I can ask you to undress while I leave the room and then come back in and see you naked anyways or you could just undress now while we are talking’,  I laughed!  Thank you for the truth and humor in those words.  I did walk out of the office not too much longer and told William, we just paid her to feel my boob and confirm…yes, there is something there and that it might be a good idea to get it checked out. That was my humor with this situation.  I got an appointment Thursday morning to see the people at Templeton Imagining.

Thursday, April 3rd   I went in and had an ultrasound today.  The girl asked a few questions and I got to see the mass on the screen.  Almost right after the ultrasound was finished a nurse came in and. informed me that the doctor wanted a Mammogram and proceeded to lead me to another room.  William had been with me at my appointments so far.  He couldn’t be in the room for this.  I was still in my gown and she asked me to take my arm out at one point and I laughed and said they are just boobs and you are going to see them anyways, and I took the robe off.  She got a good laugh.  I immediately liked her.

Have you ever had a mammogram? Whoever created that device must have been a man or really crazy woman!  The side shots were very uncomfortable! She talked to the doctor and he came in and told me yes, there is a mass and I would like to get a biopsy done.  How about Monday or Tuesday?  He left the room and the nurse told me that getting the biopsy is good.  I asked if we could do it sooner and then I cried.  Oh how Weepy I can be!  She hugged me and let me fall apart.  She encouraged me that it would be ok and told me to stay in the room and she would get my husband.  She let me have that moment in the room to process and cry and be with William and talk.  She made it possible to get my biopsy that day.  For twenty minutes she worked on getting things signed and pushed through so we could move this process along.  Three fifteen that afternoon I found myself there again and this time getting samples taken from the lump.  William had to leave the room.  The doctor tried to make me as comfortable as possible.  Lifting my left arm up was painful and he elevated it with towels.  He numbed the area, made an incision and took three samples.  Every time it felt like a very uncomfortable pinch!  They cleaned the wound, put steri strips on and a band-aid.  The doctor told me he would try to get a report from the Pathology Department the next day.  When we were done he gave me his personal number at the hospital and said call me Friday if you don’t hear anything.  The nurse brought William in.  I told William, well it’s official.  I’m dying.  Everyone had a good laugh. Now the waiting begins.

I didn’t get results Friday but the doctor called and he said I am sorry but there are no results yet and that he would be gone Monday but told me to call on Monday at 2:30 if I didn’t hear anything and that he wished he had news to tell me.  Five minutes later he called back and said this doctor will be in the office Monday to talk to you.  If you don’t hear from him call the office.

At this point my family and friends knew and were praying for me.  It was a long weekend, waiting for the results from that biopsy.

I’ll write more soon – that’s all I can put to paper (or blog) today.

-Tamika